Shattered Mirror
by lilianthorn
Summary: Professor Snape has a naughty secret which has become something of an addiction. When Harry comes to Hogwarts, that secret might become too much trouble. Warnings: underage sex, non-con, later slash. Snape/OCs, Snarry, Snape/Bella, Snape/Draco
1. Chapter 1

Bats in the Belfry

When trolling for detention candidates, the astronomy tower at night was prime hunting grounds, but with a sultry moon shining in the high windows, Professor Snape was in for a rare treat. He knew her voice even through the thick wooden door, her moans and cries of pleasure delighting even while they infuriated him. He felt the delicious rage bubbling in his belly even as the urgent need gathered in his groin. He would enjoy punishing her; he would have anyway, just for being out of bed at night, but this! Students shagging in the astronomy tower? He knew any other teacher might have them expelled, but this was just the opportunity he'd waited for.

"Uh! Yeah! Oh yeah...UHHHH!" her voice was rising in pitch and he could hear the boy's grunts coming hard and fast. It was the perfect time. Securing his expression into one of dignified rage, Professor Snape burst in through the door and found the two students with their clothes disheveled and joined at the groin, bent over a desk. Both kid's eyes boggled wide in shock and terror at the sight of the looming black figure. The boy jumped up, grabbing up his pants and bolting past the glaring teacher while covering his face. Snape let him go in favor of raising his wand to the now exposed girl on the desk. He had his prey.

"Don't move!" he snapped. She gasped, her wet crotch pointed right at him, her legs still parted. "Lumos" he whispered and cool pale light fell on her pink glistening nether lips. He let his face soften as he looked her over. The effect of her complete humiliation was very pleasing to him.

"Please, Professor..." she whimpered. He moved to stand between her spread knees and looked down at her, her chest was heaving between the opened sides of her blouse. Her hair was rumpled and her lipstick smeared. Such a hussy! He shook his head slowly and leaned in just out of reach of touching her mostly naked body.

"Tell me, Miss Allen, are you begging me to let you go or to finish you myself?" he crooned dangerously in her face. She licked her lips and whimpered again.

"I'll do anything!" she gasped. He hardened his expression and stood back up.

"I don't fancy playing second fiddle to a Hufflepuff, Miss Allen. Monday, 8pm, my office..._detention_." The word slid over his lips like liquor and he savored the flush that came into her cheeks. He spun on the spot and stalked out, leaving her to compose herself.

He smirked to himself all the way back to his office. He had been waiting to catch just this girl, with her heavy eyelids and dark curls that so reminded him...but he wouldn't mar his moment with that._ That _girl had laughed at him so many years before. No, this girl, a fifth year who he'd been watching was the kind of creature who could make for a good detention and probably enjoy it as well.

Becoming a professor at Hogwarts had afforded the bitter man a few creature comforts; with a simple memory charm, a sophisticated use of legilimancy and numerous young women with too much magic bubbling up inside them. The boys just didn't mature fast enough to satisfy their needs and the dark professor had found his calling.


	2. Chapter 2

_For the sweet and lovely one for whom this was written, you know who you are. ;-)_

Dungeon Deeds, part 1

"Come" Snape called out. The knock had been so faint he'd not have heard it at all had he not been waiting eagerly for it. The girl wouldn't meet his eyes, she approached his desk slowly, tentatively. _Good_, he thought,_ they are so much more malleable this way_. He flicked his wand and the dungeon door slammed shut causing the girl before him to jump. Already her eyes swam with tears of fright. He fought the smirk that teased the corners of his lips. He decided then to draw out her torment as long as she could bear it.

"Miss Allen," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Go now into the storeroom, in the corner there is a stand with a number of bamboo rods in it, pick one you feel is suitable and bring it here. Then remove your robe." Her eyes widened and her mouth opened, but her cheeks also flushed and her nipples became clearly visible under her blouse.

"Yes, sir." she gasped and went out. Snape was already feeling a response in himself resulting from her pretty submission. But he liked to torment himself as well and waiting would heighten his enjoyment. He stood and came around the desk to stand by where she would be returning to. He needn't wait long, she scurried back to him holding a surprisingly thick cane in both her outstretched hands. She stopped before him and presented it, finally venturing to lift her face and meet his gaze. The look he saw in her eyes nearly stole his breath, such plaintive need and completely unabashed surrender he had never before seen in a student's face; certainly not one who was new to his peculiar style of punishment. Already this little gem wanted it as badly as he did.

He took the rod in his hand and while she slipped out of her robe, leaving only the little school uniform, he tested the suppleness of the rod by swinging it a few times. Though thick, it wasn't rigid, that was good. Breaking bones was not his interest, only the delicious red stripes a good hard caning could produce on pale unblemished thighs.

"Do you know the position I need you to take?" he asked softly.

"I'm sorry, sir. I don't." her eyes were downcast again. Sweet and deep, was her total surrender. A rare and precious delicacy to be sure. He savored the tiny flutter in her voice, the fear and anticipation.

"No matter, I shall show you." By this point he was painfully hard in his trousers but he could endure that discomfort for the promise of sublime release it offered. He led her to face his desk, which he'd cleared off specially for her. Standing behind her he pressed her downwards so that she bent at the waist while he lifted her arms and set them to brace herself on the desk. This movement had pressed his groin firmly against her bottom. He didn't try to hide it and she whimpered slightly realizing what it was. She made up her mind that she could endure anything if it was for his pleasure. Her already heavily lidded eyes became even more curtained and her lips went slack.

He crouched down behind her to spread her legs and the aroma of her need hit his palate like a fine wine. His mouth watered. Her thin green panties were soaked through already. He stood again behind her and lifted her skirt taking a moment to run a hand over the supple flesh of her thighs and the soft mounds of her ass cheeks.

"Please..." she gasped.

"What is it, Miss Allen?" He asked indulgently, curious what she might have to ask.

"Please, Professor, punish me." she groaned, her voice thick with emotion. He laughed darkly. She heard the high whine of the cane slicing the air and the sharp thwack of it hitting its mark, but felt nothing. She looked back, he had brought the cane down on his own leg.

"I assure you Miss Allen, if I used_ this _nice thick rod on you, it would break you. No, I have other ideas for your eager flesh." There was a small hole in the floor between her legs into which he inserted the cane. It slid into position so that it firmly rested over her sex and ass, bracing her into position and putting pressure on her. She whimpered again.

Then before she could relax into this new position, he brought his bare hand down on her right ass cheek so hard that she cried out. "Oh!" He chuckled again. The place burned but when he moved his hand, his nails raked over the place and she shivered. He slapped her ass several more times, some on the right, some left until her cheeks glowed with heat. Then he stroked the crease between where the cheeks hollowed out and her thighs began. This spot, he knew was even more sensitive. He grazed the line with his nails first and she lifted onto her toes involuntarily then as she relaxed back down he swung and hit that spot hard, first on one side then the other. Her feet danced and she cried and whimpered. Pretty sobs were torn from her constricted throat. He finished with a series of staccato strikes harder yet than any others which left her limp and sobbing openly.

He pulled the cane away and lifted her to stand in front of him. She tried to cover her face but he took her hands away. He lifted her chin and studied the quivering lips and the wet eyes. Somehow she was even lovelier this way. His long fingers stroked the sides of her face and leaning in, his lips were a mere inch from her temple, "look at me." his voice rumbled from his chest.

Her deep wet eyes met his and his breath blew hot across her cheek. Her breasts rose and fell against his robes as she tried to catch her breath. "Are you sorry now, Miss Allen?" he demanded with a gleam in his dark eyes. Deep down she was sorely tempted to say no, but didn't dare.

"Yes, sir." she gasped, blurting out, "Your rod is far superior to any Hufflepuffs, sir"

He laughed in surprise. "Cheeky, Miss Allen! Just for that, you'll not have my 'rod' this evening. You must learn to control yourself."

Fresh tears sprang to her eyes. "But you needn't fear, I won't leave you in such a state..." he added soothingly. "Remove your panties."

Her eyes widened, "yes, sir!" She reached down and slipped out of the shear cloth. He pushed her back so her ass rested on his desk. It was cool against her hot throbbing bottom. With one arm he braced her by holding the back of her neck, with the other he reached down and slid two fingers into her hot core with no resistance whatsoever. She moaned loudly. His longer slender digits wasted no time in curling to just the right angle to stroke her sweetest places. Her eyes rolled back and she let loose a stream of incoherent vocalization. It was not long before with his thumb pressing her swollen clit, she came shuddering in his embrace, the devastating intensity bringing new sobs to her throat.

He waited for her breathing to steady then withdrew his now sticky fingers. She was gazing at him with a look of both devotion and pleading. "Professor, what about you, can't I-"

"No, Miss Allen, you will have to earn that right." he placed one musky finger over her lips, "Now I think given the severity of your infraction, weekly detention will be in order, shall we say until the Christmas holidays?" She nodded.

As she got herself composed he pulled out his wand and pointed it at her. In his years of being a teacher he'd learned to excise just the memories that could get him in trouble while leaving his victim with the feelings to mystify and torment them. Students who claimed to enjoy detention with Professor Snape were regarded much like wizards hearing voices so he knew his secret would be secure. Soon she was sent away and he palmed his aching groin.

Fortunately his next detention was in less than five minutes. And tonight she was early, slipping in behind the girl leaving. He glanced up to see his favorite seventh year, a slim blonde with regal good looks and an air of superiority. An air he knew she lost in his office remarkably swiftly.

"Miss Carter, excellent, I'm in a bit of a rush today." He waved his wand allowing her to have her memories of past detention temporarily restored. "On the desk, I think."

She smiled and had already slipped out of her panties for him and hopped up eagerly with a look of blazing lust in her eyes. He couldn't wait any longer. He freed himself from the offending trousers with a sigh and plunged balls deep into her waiting sex. "Ah!" she cried at the sudden and rough intrusion. With no preparation, his girth burned her but she welcomed the pain with the pleasure. Thrilled at being able to soothe his need.

He tipped her back and pounded her savagely, gripping one breast with his hand and kissing her deeply. Her legs tightened around his waist and her muscles shivered and clenched even as she quickly became slick for him. Only moments later he poured out his heat into her, his cock twitching and pulsing with the force of it.

After he cleaned her up, "Sorry for the short session..." he began. She giggled, "New toy, sir?" He nodded, still a bit out of breath.

"She's really cute, maybe next time you should have our detentions together, I'd not mind playing with her too, sir." As he readjusted her memory he thought about that. That might be just what he needed.


	3. Chapter 3

chapter three- dedicated to the milf and her dragon who are unendingly inspirational. May all your nights be stained with unspeakable things!

The Consequences of Falling

(soundtrack by kd lang)

"The gravel which had appeared

So stable, so secure

Begins to crumble

Under my unsteady tread.

Where was my footing?

Where was my hand to hold?

The inevitable stumble

And crushing weight

Is no more devastating for having failed

To see it coming."-Fortuna Mirth

Naomi was sitting on her bed having skipped dinner. She was nervously counting the minutes until her second detention with Professor Snape. She wasn't sure why she felt so frightened or why she felt as though something both wonderful and something horrible were happening to her. She felt confused.

At any other time, the friendly face that appeared at the door to the dorm would have been a welcome source of excitement, but seeing Bonnie Carter there this night only somehow added to Naomi's sense of confusion. Bonnie was two years older than she and with her fair hair, high cheeks, almond eyes of violet blue, Naomi had been secretly infatuated for years. Bonnie's warm smile made the hair stand up on Naomi's neck. Bonnie led the Student Sabbat Celebration Committee and while Naomi always attended the Circles, she kept to herself. Religious devotion amongst witches and wizards was rare, but there was still a presence of those who adhered to the Old Ways.

"You're Naomi Allen, aren't you?" Bonnie asked, sitting beside her on the bed. Naomi was transfixed for a moment by how she tucked her skirt under with both hands before sitting.

"Yeah," Naomi answered tentatively, she hadn't ever thought that Bonnie knew she even existed.

"I'm here to bring you to detention, we're having it together." Bonnie said smiling mysteriously. Naomi's eyes widened. "Before we go, though, I wanted to ask you how much you remember from last week?"

Naomi blushed, she had been mystified to find that she could not recall any events from inside Snape's office, yet she had the definite sense of having been there and for some reason she felt very squirmy every time she tried to remember. Bonnie read the expression and reached up to place a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder. "Alright, I can see you don't remember. Tell me this, then...do you fancy him?" Naomi's mouth fell open.

"What?" she gasped.

Bonnie chuckled, "Don't worry, you'll remember when we get there. I just want you to know I requested getting to have our detentions together, OK?" Bonnie waited for the younger girl to nod, "So are you ready?" Naomi couldn't quite shake the feeling that Bonnie was looking at her rather hungrily. She told herself it must be just her imagination.

Bonnie took her hand and helped her up, together they went to the dungeons. Naomi let Bonnie knock and lead them into Snape's office. She felt painfully bashful.

"Miss Allen, welcome back." Snape drawled coldly. As the girls stood facing his desk, he secured the door and waved his wand letting their memories flood back. Bonnie sighed and smiled, but Naomi's little hands fluttered to her mouth and she turned and stared at Snape.

He stood as usual draped in heavy black robes that made him seem almost a vesica of the void. His arms were now crossed as he quietly took a moment to let the restored memories sink into place. While Naomi watched in startled wonder, Bonnie sauntered sulkily to the Professor and slipped a slim arm around his neck.

He pushed her back growling, "Now Miss Carter, behave yourself, it wouldn't do to give Miss Allen a bad example."

"Yes, sir," she pouted. Turning to Naomi, Bonnie smiled that mysteriously hungry smile again. "Bend over, cutie. I want to see what I'll be working with."

Naomi's eyes bugged out, "you?" Professor Snape stood behind her and lifted one of her dark curls.

"Yes, Miss Allen, as I recall you had some self control issues and Miss Carter and I felt that some peer training might be useful to you." She looked up at him, sucking in her breath at his closeness and the heady musk cologne he wore. "You don't mind, do you?" She shook her head, still appearing a bit like a mouse caught in the sights of a boa constrictor. Frozen and entranced. "Excellent, I look forward to watching how Miss Carter trains you."

Already Bonnie was circling the girl, examining her. She flicked her wand and Naomi's skirt and blouse slipped off, leaving her standing in her panties, knee socks and a threadbare bra. She hunched her shoulders coyly trying to wrap her arms around herself. Bonnie tsked, "oh, that will never do, little one. Professor, does she always have such atrocious posture?"

Snape smirked, Bonnie was his long time favorite for a very good reason. "Miss Carter, you know how your classmates are, I daresay the younger set is even worse if such a thing is possible."

Bonnie shook her head in dismay. "Don't you think, Professor, that she'd be greatly improved by_ that_?" She gave him a knowing smile. He raised one eyebrow but nodded. He took his place behind his desk to enjoy the show unfolding before him. Bonnie would soon have Naomi well in hand. First Bonnie went to a wardrobe hidden behind one of the shelves of potion supplies. In moments she had changed into a black outfit that made her pale hair and skin so much more ethereal but which simultaneously made her look dangerous, sexy and confident. Naomi felt even more self-conscious.

Bonnie licked her lips and clicked in the new heels to where her plaything was waiting tormented by her own imagination. She pulled out a length of rope and caught up Naomi's wrists quickly and firmly. With her wand she affixed the rope to the loop on the ceiling causing Naomi to be pulled up onto her toes. Then she pulled out a small knife and cut away Naomi's offending lingerie. She tossed those unceremoniously into a corner of the room. Naomi was watching her breathlessly. Already the girl's nipples were pert and her chest and cheeks were warming with color. Bonnie enjoyed the view of the helpless gorl for a moment then slipped her arm around the now stretched out waist and kissed her hard on the mouth. Every muscle in Naomi's body leaned into the older girl's body.

Bonnie laughed and pulled away. "The good Professor said you were a natural, let's see, shall we?" She produced a length of wood wrapped tightly in black leather. Ordinarily this little tool was used to measure magical output from certain magical plants, but she had another kind of flower in mind for it. She dragged the tool up the inside of Naomi's thighs causing the girl to tremble and slip from her toes. This movement earned her a swift swat on her ass with the same tool, Bonnie reaching around to deliver it so quickly that Naomi was caught off guard.

"Ticklish, are you?" Bonnie crooned at her.

"Yeah." Naomi gasped.

Bonnie shook her head, "You will address me as Miss Carter and you will answer me properly, is that understood?"

Naomi blushed deeply, "Yes Miss Carter." she mumbled softly. Three more strikes fell in rapid succession onto her buttocks.

"Louder." Bonnie commanded.

"Yes, Miss Carter!" Naomi declared openly. Professor Snape chuckled softly.

"Good girl," Bonnie smiled yet still proceeded to beat her soundly on the ass until her cheeks were crisscrossed with hot red lines. When Naomi's face was red and streaked with tears and Bonnie felt satisfied with her punishment, she set down the tool and lowered the girl, commanding her to kneel and keep her back straight for her.

Then she brought out some very fine yet ancient looking items. One of which Naomi did not recognize at all, it was white and had laces and overlapping ribbons secured to some firm frame. First Bonnie tugged a soft cotton slip over her head. Then she secured the other item around her waist, first clasping the many hooks in front then going behind her and tugging at the laces until it was firm but not tight. The laces were tied into a pretty bow in the back. Then white ribbon bands were secured to Naomi's wrists that had tiny silver loops attached. A matching white choker was placed around her throat. Her hands were pulled behind her and the loops attached to loops on the cinch around her waist. A thin chain was affixed to the choker.

"These are enchanted ribbons, Naomi, you cannot break, cut or tear them. You shall wear them at all times. The rings tuck under so there won't be any questions. The cinch I shall put on you each morning and remove from you at night. This way, at all times you will feel my firm embrace even under your robes. Do you understand?" Bonnie spoke softly but Naomi hung on every syllable.

"Yes Miss Carter," Naomi answered gazing devotedly at the older girl. Bonnie smiled.

"She's ready, Professor." Bonnie helped her to her feet and led her by the chain to Snape's desk. He sat with one hand in his trousers.

"Very nice, Miss Carter. I think such lovely girls should be enjoyed in a suitable environment, don't you?" With a smile he led them into a hidden but beautiful bedchamber. Bonnie helped Naomi onto the bed so that she was on her knees, facing downward with her face against the coverlet. The bed coverings in deep emerald velvet offset the white cinch and bands as well as the red marks on her skin. She felt truly exposed and was aware of the air on her glistening sex. Bonnie took a moment to strip back down to just stockings and Snape affixed a black ribbon at her throat.

Bonnie climbed onto the bed and slid under Naomi so that Naomi was draped over her and straddling her hips. Bonnie reached up and attached their chokers at the rings after removing Naomi's chain lead. Naomi couldn't move, with her wrists still bound to the cinch and her neck attacked to Bonnie's, she could only lay on the other girl and wait. She was trembling and felt heat from Bonnie's skin as their breasts pressed together. Bonnie began kissing her neck and nibbling at her earlobes.

A moan filled Naomi's ears and she felt the rough cloth of Snapes robes brushing the welts on her ass and she knew he was deep inside the girl beneath her. That knowledge made her clit veritably dance with aching need. Bonnie took her face in her hands and kissed her mouth, her tongue slipping into her so that through the movement of her tongue, Naomi could feel the rhythm with which Bonnie was being fucked. The kissed filled with deeper moans when Naomi felt Snape's hot thick member, slick from Bonnie, slide into her. The alchemy of kissing the girl with the fullness of being pounded by Snape was overwhelming and her mind slid out of focus.

Snape slipped back and forth between the girls and Naomi was vaguely aware of a sensation like having her magic woven inextricably into Bonnie's. She buried her face into Bonnie's neck and let tears slip from her eyes as her body contracted around Snape's cock feeling at the same time his own release deep inside her. He tapped her wrists with his wand and the restraints released. Then her pulled her back so her face was at Bonnie's sex. She could see where Snape's fluid had spilled out of her own body and dribbled over Bonnie's sex.

"Clean her up now." Snape commanded.

"Yes, sir, thank you sir," Naomi answered and applied her mouth to Bonnie with a sigh of contentment. How long had she daydreamed this? How many nights had she tossed in the heat of need as this moment had seemed forever out of reach. And now here was the sweet nectar of Bonnie's arousal blended with the bitter seed of Snape's satisfaction merging on her tongue. She lapped at the frill and suckled the nub at the top. She plunged her tongue as far into the hot cavern as she could reach drawing her tongue upward to stroke the place in Bonnie that made her squirm. With one hand she slid two fingers in to assist and went back to licking and tormenting the firm hooded bit of Bonnie's flesh that she knew would soon bring her to her own release.

Snape had finished cleaning himself up and sat beside Bonnie's head. He took a fistful of the loose, blonde hair and held it firmly in his hand while he leaned in and kissed her lips. She screamed her orgasm into his hungry mouth and her convulsions spent themselves in Naomi's mouth.

Afterwards, they got themselves straightened up and presentable. Naomi kept the cinch under her blouse, enjoying the tight feeling just as Bonnie had suggested she would. The girls had their memory adjusted, Snape was careful to leave everything they'd need to play with each other outside of his office while protecting his own role in it. He watched them leave together wistfully. It did not do to fall for his students, he knew. It was better that they found one another in the dark recesses of his office and took their bond with them. It was how it always was and how it should be. At least, Snape had gotten very good over the years at telling himself that.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: finally! We get to play with Snape's true emotions! Was anyone fooled by his strong forceful facade? Ha! Meet the Snapemallow!_

Fallen Angels

Harry hurried behind Ron trying not to get lost on the way to the dungeons. He had concerns about his first potions class since it was a double session with Slytherin and so far his encounters with the serpentine lot had been enough to make him wary. Not to mention the Potions master who had been watching him at the start of year feast and he had noticed the dark eyes on him during meals. The effect was that Harry was already uncomfortable going in. Though he couldn't imagine why a man he'd never met would hate him so much already.

"Dunderheads," Snape cursed to himself looking at his schedule. Why first year potions always placed Gryffindors with Slytherins, Snape could not fathom, but every year it was the class that required the most headache potion. He had little reason to think this year would be any different. His classes generally did not become interesting to him until fourth year when at least a few of the girls began to look somewhat shaggable. But first years stretched the limits of his patience and he was not a patient man.

He stormed in with his usual flair and gave his introduction lecture while scanning the room. He quickly identified the future trouble makers, including the cute baby-faced Malfoy boy, as well as the soon to fail and the obvious know-it-all. Then his eyes found the boy writing everything down. Oh, he knew he was taking notes, he knew he had the boys attention, but this was no ordinary boy. This was the Boy-Who-Danced-In-His-Skivvies and the Boy-Who-Sucked-Off-Succubi or some such absurdities.

He couldn't resist messing with him. It was inevitable from the moment he walked in. But what Snape had not counted on was that when the Potter boy looked up and met his eyes, he did so with the eyes of Lily Evans.

In Severus Snape's life there had been four women who changed his life. The first had been his mother, the second had been the little red-haired girl up the street who gave Severus his first glimpse of what it might be like to have a real friend. The third had been Bellatrix Black who taught him that women cannot be trusted as they will not only stab you in the back, but laugh at you publicly while doing so. And finally, her own sister had taught him that there were oases in the storms of life.

But there were Lily's eyes in a strange, dark, yet angelic face. Snape wanted to be angry, he _wanted _to see those eyes as though the boy had stolen them on purpose without regard for his, Snape's, feelings. But long after class, that was not what he was feeling. He told himself the boy was a child and well...a boy!

Snape found reasons to give Potter detention, but though he watched him closely, he kept his hands to himself. His dreams at night, however were plaguing him with images he resisted and resented. He tried to forget it in his play with his usual detentees, but even there his mind began to wander. He was getting angry at himself as well that so often he found himself getting close in Potter's face, usually having found some reason to yell at him, but still, years of playing the dominant made it such that he knew his own response. The anger that boiled beneath his skin masked darker, more ferocious emotions. Emotions which could bleed out if he were not utterly careful.

And then one night after a long day, he had Potter in detention and was, as usual watching the boy bend over some barrel of disgusting things he'd given him for a task and suddenly the small figure began to slip over the edge. Snape was there in an instant pulling him out, his own worry shocking him. He waved his wand to clean off the muck from Potter's clothes then before he could gather his thoughts and remove his hands, he found his mouth mashing the young boy's lips in a feverish and brutal kiss. To his shock, there was no resistance, there was sweet response; a pained and reluctant release into his embrace.

He pulled back and looked down, her eyes...no..._his eyes_...Harry Potter was looking up at him with the innocence of youth, the desire of newly awakened passions and the need to trust only found in those who've also been deeply hurt. Hurt to hurt and heart to heart, this boy was more dangerous to the facade of strength and dominance that Snape had spent so many years developing than any night alone with Lord Voldemort. Yet something deep within him was glad of it.

"One step towards you,

two steps back,

feels like I'm crawling..."

-kd lang


	5. Chapter 5

Butterfly Wings

"Don't place faith in human beings,

human beings are unreliable things,

Don't place faith in human beings

human beings or butterfly wings."

- Machines of Loving Grace

Snape had his wand in his hand in an instant and flicked it at the boy slicing away the offending kiss. A pain tore through his chest realizing he'd stolen the boy's first kiss and now having stolen it, could never give it back. He stood still with his spine punishingly rigid and his face slipping into his most practiced mask of disdain.

"Mr. Potter," he growled, "you may go." The boy nodded quickly, grabbing his rucksack, bolted from his office. Snape stood still waiting for the rage he felt at himself to abate before risking moving about. Over the years he'd learned it was better to swallow hard than to have to spend hours cleaning up after his destructive urges, or worse have to make excuses to Madam Pomfrey for how he'd injured himself this time. He closed his eyes slowly and breathed in deeply, almost to where his lungs resisted. He ignored the burn, blowing out only when he absolutely had to.

Then he went to his small pantry to look for something to eat. He'd avoided dinner in the great hall and now his insides were gnawing at him. He thought of his hunger as an annoying small furry pet and the thought brought a wry smile to his face. In his cupboard were a few tins of soup and some crackers. He began to take up a can, but stopped for a moment staring hard at the faded label. A memory slipped into his awareness unbidden.

_He was small and his mother was calling him to supper. It was lukewarm soup and a sandwich. "But mum, why can't we have something nice?" he had asked innocently, if selfishly._

_"Hush, Severus, your father isn't here so it's not worth the effort to cook. Now eat up and go play." the harried woman had whined._

Not worth the effort.

Those words had burned him. The nights when his drunken father beat her were bad, but what seared his young heart was all the little things; the smallest ways that she showed that she considered herself and Severus both as being inherently inferior to his father, to the Almighty Man of the House.

Snape put the can back and headed for the kitchens. It was a little thing, but it meant something to him. It wasn't just the nice hot meal the elves provided, though that was a sweet comfort. It was the simple fact that they were happy to see him. No matter how much of the world hated him, these diminutive figures gave a warmth that Snape found he still needed. They were often the only living beings to see a genuine smile on his face. He trusted them to keep it a secret.

As soon as he finished eating he went back to his quarters and graded papers as though the monotony could serve as penance for his crime. But thoughts drifted lazily in on the fullness and contentment his supper had brought about. He wondered idly what it would feel like to force his turgid erection deep into the boy's arse and he imagined the small frame crushed beneath him, receiving his passion, shame and rage into his angelic body. He thought bitterly, _"would you watch that James, wherever you are, you bastard? Would you like to see me bugger your little boy the way you tried to bugger me?"_

Papers lost their appeal. He retreated to a bath, scalding enough to pink even his sallow complexion. As the heat burned his flesh, he roughly fisted his cock, tearing an anguished orgasm from his tormented flesh. Exhausted, he slept fitfully in the soft security of his secret bed, which still bore the sweet fragrance of young girls in their own throes of need and magic. The remnants of that girlish alchemy acted as a ward preventing the dreams he'd come to dread.

In the morning he sent a student from his first class with a scroll for Bonnie Carter saying simply "see me after class". He didn't need to wait long, she had run from the end of her next class to his classroom so that she was waiting just inside the door even before all the students had gathered their things and departed. Once the room was empty except for himself and the girl he rushed to her slamming the heavy door and pinning her against it with a hand at her throat. Her eyes widened in panic but she didn't complain. With his other hand he freed himself from his trousers and slid her thin panties to one side and lifting her he impaled her against the door, thrusting into her with every ounce of his urgency and fury. He wanted it to be rape, he wanted to hurt her, he wanted to see tears in her eyes and he was not disappointed. Her hands scrambled to his at her neck fighting for air. He watched carefully even as he unloaded his heat inside her body for the glazed look that meant she was greying out. As soon as he saw it he pulled his cock out and pinched her clit in his fingers and she gasped as her body convulsed in a violent orgasm of her own.

Finally he let her breathe and she collapsed in his arms coughing and weeping. He scooped her up and held her in his lap tenderly, sitting on a stool that was nearby. Then he pulled out his wand and adjusted her memory while cleaning them both up.

He sent her away to get ready for the next class with a whispered, "thank you." He did not realize that she had learned to counter his memory charms nor did he know the ways his venting with her would be translated into her treatment of her own pet, Naomi. Had he thought any of this through, he might have acted differently. But then again, he'd not have been Severus Snape if he thought his actions with people through.


	6. Chapter 6

Lost and Found

_for Narcissa, who makes everything right as rain..._

_flashback_

Lily Evans was not a beautiful girl. She could hardly be described as pretty. But she had a certain quality, a fearlessness and joy that illuminated her appearance and gave her the look of attractiveness. And Severus had loved her since long before anyone else had discovered or come to appreciate this. They had been friends the way children can be when they are isolated. Without fear of the outlying influences, they met on common ground. Until Hogwarts.

At school they were forced apart by social contacts, Houses, and pride. Severus was simply too proud to stand up for the fact that he had loved her first. He resented her for her popularity yet was too embarrassed to tell her why he was behaving to badly. It was an older girl who talked to him about it. Narcissa Black was everything Severus should have wanted in a girlfriend. She had social standing, affluence and she, unlike Lily, was truly and genuinely beautiful. She had caught him doodling lilies on his parchment again and sat beside him, taking his hand.

"You love her." she stated. He scowled. "Listen, Sev, my sister is having a party this weekend, why don't you come along?" He looked at her, searching her face for some trick.

"But I'm staying at Hogwarts for the holiday..." he muttered.

"It's alright, so am I, we'll sneak out." she dropped her voice, "please?"

Severus wondered all week why Narcissa had invited him, he was only in his third year and she was seventh, he doubt she fancied him. The night of the party as they slid down her favored corridor out of the castle, she confided in him. "I'm glad you came with me, my sister and parents want me to hook up with Lucius Malfoy but I wanted to go with a friend tonight. I'm just not ready for him under the influence of booze. I know I can trust you because I know you love Lily."

They came out of the grounds and there was the most extraordinary witch Severus had ever seen. Tall, dark, and wild; Bellatrix stood aloof and alluring in every way. She was busty and had accentuated this by her low cut black gown cinched by a thick leather waist band. Her red mouth promised unspeakable horrors and delights.

"You brought a little boy, Cissy?" Bella clicked her teeth.

"He's a_ nice _boy, Bella." Narcissa spat back.

"Hmm, we'll see..." and they were off being taken somewhere by side-along-apparition by Bellatrix who gripped their arms like a vise. After they got there they found a house full of lights and music. People were dancing in some windows, making out in others.

Inside Narcissa led him to the pumpkin juice and told him to avoid the keg of firewhisky in the other corner. She introduced him to people and he followed her like a puppy, but he was happy. Occasionally he caught Bella's eyes on him, dangerous and strange.

There was a shout the the firewhiskey had run out and Bella got up from the couch she'd been sitting at heading out the door saying something about muggle booze. He slipped out behind her and followed. A little ways up the street she wheeled on him and shone her wand light in his face. "Following are you? You might get more than you bargained for, little boy." She moved her wand so quickly but her spells must have been silent. His tongue was fixed in his mouth so he couldn't speak and he felt the cold dripping sensation of being dis-illusioned. She grabbed his hand and they traveled to a small, noisy muggle tavern. Bella rapped on the back door and a large greasy man with a three day beard opened.

"Oh, it's you. Come on, you know the drill..." he led her and unknowingly Severus up some stairs and to a narrow door. "They're in here, I'll have the booze ready for you downstairs. Bella nodded and pulled Severus with her through the door.

Inside were four men seated around the room on cushioned chairs, sharing a bottle of yellow liquid with something floating in it. They smiled with crooked, broken teeth at the new arrival and one man poured a measure of the liquid into a very small greasy glass. She downed it and the men started fondling her. Severus huddled by the door watching these predatory men tear at her dress and paw at her skin. Soon several hard cocks had been pulled out and Bella was on her knees with one in each end while the other two fondled themselves nearby. They traded positions several times and moved Bella to different places for their amusement. Every time a man finished in her sopping pussy, she was given another drink of the yellow liquid. She took all four men at least twice. The orgiastic scene playing out before Severus' wide eyes for at least an hour.

Afterwards as she fixed her dress by hand, careful not to let the muggle men see her wand, one man pulled out a package and withdrew a small white tube from it, lighting one end on fire and handed it to Bella. She took the burning stick and sucked at the non-burning end and after a moment blew out thick white acrid smoke. Severus recognized the smell of burning tobacco. It was a common enough potion ingredient but he'd never heard of anyone lighting it on fire and sucking the smoke.

It was time to leave and he helped Bella out the door where she was handed two shopping bags full of bottles that clinked as she stumbled. She finally set down the bags once out of sight of the tavern and aimed her wand at Severus. "Finite" and he was visible again and could talk. She went to turn back to the bags but tripped on her shoes and fell. Severus ran to her. She laughed and pulled him on top of her there in the wet foul smelling gutter. But he could not hide his erection. She felt it and laughed.

"You want to fuck me, little boy?" she drawled. He nodded. She reeked like a whorehouse but when he kissed her lips, she tasted like salvation. He drank deep the bittersweet wine of her kisses from the chalice of her heated flesh. She tugged up her dress and fumbled with his trousers. As soon as she took his cock in her hot sweaty hand, he released, his face flushing deep red in shame. She laughed at him and pushed him away.

They returned to the party in silence, Severus keeping his head down. When they got inside Bella wouldn't let go her grip on him but took him to Narcissa who was waiting alone on a balcony staring at the stars. When she saw Severus she smiled, "there you are, I was worried..."

"Do you know what your _nice boy _did?" Bella slurred her words. Then she whispered in her sister's ear. Severus couldn't bear to watch her reaction. Bellatrix placed one of the bottles on a table and said, "they call it tehkillya or sommat..." Then dragged Severus away to another room.

In this one there was a group of boys. Sirius and his gang were sitting around talking as though the fate of the world depended upon their plots. Bella whispered evilly in Severus' ear, "you have to suck my cousin off while I watch or they'll all know what happened out there."

She took him by his hair and made him kneel in front of Sirius who watch smiling wryly. Bella announced that Severus owed her something and was there to pay up. There was laughter and Severus' cheeks burned in hate and shame. Bella leaned in by Sirius and unzipped his pants, pulling out her cousin's dick and tugging it a bit. Then she looked at Severus and said, "now, suck him."

Severus had no choice, he grimaced and gingerly took the boy's dick into his mouth, feeling it harden and lengthen. He held it with his hand to keep it from going too deep and tried not to gag. But Bella had her wand out again. Suddenly Severus couldn't move. Sirius seemed to notice and he laughed, "hey thanks!" and grabbed Severus' head and began thrusting roughly deep into his throat. Severus wanted to puke but his immobilized body couldn't.

James noticed the situation and to Severus' horror, he felt him get behind him and undo his pants. There was more laughter when James said, "hey snivvelus, you're gonna be my bitch from now on!" He felt the head of James' erection pressing at his virgin entrance and wanted to scream. He heard Bella laugh again and say, "engorgio!" and the pressure at his opening swelled to a much wider area. James pressed in forcing the now enlarged head just into Severus' hole. He heard as much as felt his skin rip and the agonizing pain tore through him like lightning.

Then there was a bang and the offending members were gone from him. He heard Narcissa yelling and somewhere in that he was able to move again. He numbly pulled his pants back up over his now burning arsehole. Then he staggered toward the door only to have to stop and puke violently all over the antique carpet there. He collapsed in his vomit and cried.

Narcissa scooped him up holding him under his arm. She guided him out and cleaned him up in a bedroom nearby. She insisted he remove his pants so she could repair the tears. Then she gave him a large measure of booze and told him to drink. Her bottle was already half-empty and she was a bit drunk herself, but once he had drank the burning liquid she laid beside him and held him.

At first they were still but then her hand wandered and found his still exposed cock. She toyed with it idly until it got hard. Then she sat up and looked at it curiously. He didn't want to look at her, but she grabbed his face and made him face her. There was real lust in her eyes. She kissed him, again the bittersweet of a kiss that felt like Holy Communion but this time he was determined to complete this Rite. He pushed back with his tongue and reached for her. He unbuttoned her dress and caressed her skin. She was soft and warm like fresh bread, her body laid out like an offering. He pulled off his shirt and parted her slender legs, finding her core with his urgent touch. He slid deep into her and felt the magic of her envelop and soothe him. He worshiped her with his touch and devoured her cries in his kisses. She held him and met his every move with her own. She was so tight and sweet, yet slick and welcoming.

Soon he found his way home in her and she smiled sweetly, holding him still. It had been his first time.


	7. Chapter 7

Concealment

Snape paced in front of the silent class with his hands behind his back. "The subject of healing potions is simple enough if you truly understand the underlying concepts." Already he could see the Granger beast's wheels turning under that mass of fluff she called hair. "If the meaning of healing is properly grasped, the fundamentals of a healing potion are clear. Tell me, can anyone tell me what it means to heal?" Her hand shot up, she'd taken the bait.

He gestured lazily toward her. "To heal means to purify, to free from evil, or to cleanse."

"Wrong, Granger, your muggle upbringing is showing." he sneered. There were bits of laughter scattered about the room like the detritus of a party that got disbanded. Snape waved his hand and there was silence again. "The word heal comes from from the Anglo-Saxon verb elan or helan; meaning to cover, hide, or conceal.* Contrary to many cures, healing potions are based upon the principle of giving shelter and cover to the wound in order for it to find the space undisturbed to fix itself. That is why a healing potion is neither a cure nor an antidote, but usually based upon some form of tranquilizing or even masking properties. For today's lesson you will be making the Cat's Sleep potion; instructions are on the board."

As he sat back at his desk he pondered his own explanation. Perhaps indeed he was at his most healthy then when his cravings and their origins were not showing. Certainly in his ordinary moving about as a professor, or amongst the Death Eater fools left behind lingering at the edges of Wizarding society like the pimples on its ass were characterized by concealment most exclusively, but he wondered about his recent lapse of control with the Potter boy.

To take his mind off his own shortcomings, he folded his hands in font of his face and slipped into various students minds. He could do exploratory examinations without his wand, though the careful manipulations still required some wand work. He observed mostly confusion as the idiots in his class tried to follow the simplest instructions. Then his gaze fell into the mind of baby faced Draco Malfoy. The boy had an unusual mind; he was simultaneously focused on potion making and in a part of his mind he'd split off for his private use; he was engaging in disgusting sexual fantasies. Snape tried not to raise an eyebrow seeing himself amongst the mix. The primary feature of Draco's fantasies was rape. Draco wanted to feel people, especially powerful people, writhing in agony beneath him. He wanted to make them suffer and hear them cry. Snape wondered at this. No one could ever have guessed that the sweet face of the blonde boy disguised such cruelty. Even the boy's mother was featured in a disturbing set of fantasies involving her bound and beaten and finally fucked in every possible way by Draco himself.

He shook his head and moved on. Naturally the Ganger beast had a head full of facts and figures, the Wealey boy had the blankest mind Snape had ever seen, but Potter! Oh, Potter was interesting. His mind was filled with questioning. He doubted himself on everything. Snape began to suspect that half his mediocrity came from how self-defeating his mental state was.

Right on cue the boy dropped his whole vial of tonka beans into his cauldron causing it to bubble up and spill over. Snape was by his side in a moment vanishing the contents while sneering, "Potter! Do you recall me saying specifically that too many tonka beans can cause mania with just skin contact? You've just endangered yourself and your classmates with your carelessness. Not only will you be receiving a zero for this assignment, I think a detention is in order."

Harry looked up at Snape with his mouth open, ready to protest, but nothing came out. He saw Granger reach for his hand to give him a squeeze that was either a warning or encouragement. Snape wasn't sure why but the simple contact made his skin burn when he saw it.

It was going to be a long day. Snape sat down to wait for the others to finish their pathetic attempts at the potion, the simplest of the healing potions. As they left their sample vials he declared, "Homework: one roll of parchment on identifying the Wikketung** herb, how it is differentiated from the common rosebush and how this herb is used in healing potions."

There was general moaning in complaint which he ignored, but soon he found Potter standing before his desk. He scowled at him. "Sir, you didn't tell me when my detention was."

"Tonight, Potter. My office, 7pm." Snape found himself saying almost in spite of himself.

###

* from Morals and Dogma by Albert Pike

** based on the character Wikked-Tungue from The Romaunt of the Rose


	8. Chapter 8

Through the Looking Glass, Darkly

_"what would an angel say, the devil wants to know"- Criminal, Fiona Apple_

Dinner in the great hall was sumptuous as always. Snape scooped up a spoonful of rosemary roasted potatoes and poured a measure of lemon cream sauce over them. The roasted Salmon Nicoise was such a perfect complement that it was almost easy for the quiet professor to ignore the incessant gibberish from either side. But as his hunger was sated the buzzing of other teachers attempting to draw him into conversation began to intrude. Rather than skip desert and his favorite amaretto cream cheesecake, Snape decided to take another peek into the Potter boy's mind.

This time, as the dark head bent over his soup, he was not focused on schoolwork and his mind wandered to boyish fantasies. To Snape's great surprise, and this time he did raise an eyebrow; as though perfectly matched with his fair-haired peer, Harry Potter fantasized about_ being _raped. There were a few key players, mostly older boys. Then there it was as though it had not been excised from his mind at all; Snape kissing him forcefully. Snape felt his skin prickle with fear as though this fantasy was being broadcast to the entire hall declaring Snape's guilt. Except, as he watched in frozen terror, the fantasy continued far beyond the reality had. The revelation of this had Snape feeling both painfully excited about the upcoming detention as well as nervous. Was he really ready to do those things with such a small boy? Even if the fact of his desire was plain to his mind to see, could he steal such perfect innocence?

Snape barely tasted his cheesecake. Between all the blood rushing to his groin and his thoughts racing, he had too much going on to give proper attention to food. Three bites in he decided to wrap it up and take it with him for later when he thought it might be just right. Just as he stood to duck out he caught a glimpse of icey blue eyes that sent his stomach into flip flops. Narcissa's eyes peering out of a round sweet face, Narcissa's eyes which where fixed through time and space on Lily's eyes. For a moment Snape felt dizzy, it seemed like the floor had pitched and the tables were flying and time itself had whirled out of control crashing into his life. He shook himself from the wreckage of his emotions and ran for the door.

He knew better, he knew it had been only too likely that the son of his first lover would ultimately resemble her, but the combination and convergence of memory with its trigger had been too uncanny. The way the two matched in strange ways disturbed him as well. There was a final piece to this mystery. The only other time he'd encountered a mind so truly split had been when as an adult he'd learned Legilimancy and other magics alongside Bellatrix, now Lestrange. If Draco had some of her as well as his mother, then he was an alchemy of wicked and wily. Draco Malfoy could very turn out to be a very _dangerous_ wizard.

He thought too of how much Harry resembled James. Again it felt like the walls were tipping at unnatural angles. He decided that even though he knew he'd break himself against the boy, over and over, he'd not harm him. For Lily, for Narcissa, for all that he hoped could remain good in the world, he prayed to all the ancient gods of love and pleasure that loving the boy would not cause harm to him. He knew he prayed in vain.

He rushed into his office and deposited the small plate with the cheesecake on a table and tugged off his outer robe. He went to his large desk and moved papers around. The knock came long before he was ready. "Come" his voice almost caught when the door opened revealing green eyes. Green pure innocent eyes filled with nothing but awkward boyish complications. Resentment at having detention blended sweetly into eagerness to please and a twisted hunger at having found himself again at Snape's mercy.

Snape swallowed. He met the eyes with a look he hoped was encouraging despite his impulse to act the stern teacher, he felt that unbidden urge to be tender. It had to be Narcissa's eyes haunting him from dinner, from the unlikely boy who wielded their power unknowingly. He secured the door then pulled Harry to him. The boy was stunned into immobility. Without a word Snape began undressing him. Finally Harry found his voice, "Uh, Pro-professor?"

"Shh!" Snape commanded and wide-eyed, the boy complied. He blushed a pretty scarlet when his boxers revealed an eagerness at Snape's touch that no doubt he found embarrassing. But Snape smiled. He went down on one knee and tugged down the paisley shorts revealing a perfect, small erection. Snape's lips were parted as he studied the slender body. His ribs rising and falling with each fluttering breath. The gooseflesh rising over his tummy and thighs from the touch of Snape's fingers.

Looking up once and finding wide frightened eyes and deep pink cheeks, Snape took the plunge and enveloped the boy's penis in his mouth, while holding his thighs firm with both hands. Harry gasped in alarm and the shock of pleasure. It was sharp and drowning, this pleasure. Snape swirled his tongue around the soft sweet flesh. His hands reaching upwards to massage the small bottom. It was wretched and wondrous at once, he was a demon loving an angel.

Harry gasped and moaned softly, shifting his feet slightly with each sucking stroke of Snape's tongue. Snape slipped a finger between the cheeks and pressed gently at the pucker there. That pushed Harry further, he rose up on his toes and moved his hips into the man's devouring mouth. His tiny hands cupped Snape's cheeks with a maddening tenderness. Snape sped up his movement and felt the boy's legs go rigid. He braced him with his arm so he wouldn't fall and then felt the quiver of the boy's dick followed by a small eruption of hot salty fluid.

Harry looked down at Snape in wonder and said, "I came!" Snape chuckled and released him. He helped him dress and adjusted his memory. To be on the safe side he implanted a memory of another detention of doing lines into the night's slot. Then he sent him on his way and sat down satisfied to eat his cheesecake. He decided the sweet was improved by the salty and nearly laughed to himself when the thought crossed his mind, "now you are 'The Boy Who Jizzed'"


	9. Chapter 9

Nine of Swords

Snape lay dreaming, he walked in a meadow so green it hurt his eyes. As he walked, however, he found his feet had become paws and his great tongue lolled from his gaping, fanged jaws and he shook his mane. Then Narcissa stood before him clad in white, her loose pale hair bound by a wreath bearing red flowers. She lifted a wreath of roses around his neck as he stood relaxed beside her. She folded the end of the wreath around her waist and attached it to itself. Then she reached for his mouth, soothingly and gently.

She spoke, "my darling, the Serpent who lies in your basest fear and doubt can be tamed likewise. But should you find its venom bitter, transmute the bitterness to sweet by..."

Her words were obscured by the sound of terrible rushing flames. He turned to look and the Dark Lord stood encircled by fire. Nagini rest upon his shoulders and he lifted one leg as though to dance.

Then the scene shifted and he saw himself in a shack, Nagini's mouth at his neck. He cried out for the red bird and then Lily's eyes were calling him and Narcissa's voice rang again in his fading ears, "If you find the Serpent's venom bitter..."

He woke up with a start, shivering in the cold sweat on his skin. He made a decision then. He knew what Harry needed wasn't something he could give him, so he would watch over him from a distance, not to lay hand upon him again until he was ready and able to give and receive.

Several years passed this way, Snape hid his feelings for the boy while keeping his distance. In time he found his other student playthings less interesting and began instead to focus on sorting out for himself what kind of person he wanted to be.

And then the Dark Lord arose again. He was by this time strengthened by his years of resisting temptations and self-reflection. He stood before Voldemort a new man, unlike the one who had seen his fall with anguish for Lily. He was strengthened by hope and discipline.

Draco was growing up to be every bit the tyrant that Snape had predicted. He heard whispers of his "involvements" with other students. He did nothing but worked to secretly keep him from Harry. That was an alchemy he was not about to release into either of their lives...yet.

It was a warm spring evening as he strode up the walk of Malfoy manor. The door had opened for him on its own; he was an expected guest. The Dark Lord was due to arrive in an hour and Snape had come early to speak with Narcissa. He knocked on the old beveled walnut door and it too slid silently open, permitting him entry to the sitting room near where the meeting would take place. Sitting in a deep blue wing-backed chair was Narcissa. He felt she'd not aged a day and never would. Standing by her side, however was her husband, Lucius.

Snape bowed in quick greeting and took the chair opposite Narcissa at her urging gesture. The low fire gave light but also too much heat and he felt irritated by the unnecessary stuffiness. But a glance at Lucius reminded him that stuffy was a permanent feature in this estate. Narcissa broke the silence.

"Thank you for coming, Severus. My family and I have always appreciated your friendship."

Snape returned the pleasantries and the conversation turned to the usual fare; how was Draco getting on at school, Was he safe, Was Snape watching out for him. All the usual concerns. He answered all of them with certainty and poise. After all, he genuinely WAS watching out for the boy, as well as the boy's victims.

The meeting was uneventful, more discussion of getting the prophecy which Snape tried to ignore. The entire subject made his blood boil. He had been the one to first inform the Dark Lord of the prophecy and look what it'd gotten him. Finally the red slitted eyes turned to him. "My good man, rumor has reached me that you've been instructed to teach the Potter boy Occlumancy this year?" A snicker down the table announced Bella's presence and he cleared his throat to assert his control at this discussion.

"Yes, my Lord, his mind is wide open and undisciplined, so there is no reason to even bother with pretense. I need not sabotage the lessons; he simply cannot learn the art." Snape reported.

Laughter erupted around the table. It was true enough. The Potter boy had no ability to quiet, still, or control his mind or emotions. Snape, however remembered a time when he too was a volatile hotbed of emotions and thoughts and he recalled how the quiet blonde sitting a few chairs down had been the one to calm his storms.

During their years at Hogwarts, Narcissa had become a haven for Snape. She had a kind heart, compassionate ear and endless patience, it seemed. After his rages and bouts of self-pity, she always listened quietly, then reminded him that after all that, it was he who had to live with who he was, not those he raged at. In time he had internalized her patience and used it to quiet himself. He could only hope that Harry had a friend like her.

The meeting let out and Snape was preparing to leave. As he exited, however, he found Bella on his heels. "Bella?" he turned to her. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" he let a bit of sarcasm slide into his voice. She had a hold of his lapel.

"I saw you in Draco's thoughts, did you touch him?" she accused.

Snape rolled his eyes, "Honestly, Bella do I look like the kind of man who wants to be forcefully buggered by a little boy?"

Her eyes narrowed, "you're still mad at me?"

"What?" he gasped. Then he realized she'd not gotten terribly far into Draco's thoughts and mistook his meaning. "No, Bella, I mean Draco; he fantasizes about rape pretty much exclusively. It's just not my thing." She released him and scowled. He turned and left before any more of his past could accost him there. As he walked he thought, "That woman thinks everything is about her."


	10. Chapter 10

Lilies in The River

"Saw a boy three lilies white,

Lilies in the river,

Half heart-open to the light,

Full of golden arrows bright,

Each a silver quiver.

Lilies, lilies, lilies white,

Lilies in the river" -Goethe

*flashback*

The events at Bella's party had cemented the animosity between himself and the James Potter gang, though Severus would never tell anyone what had happened. The increased fighting was noticed by Lily and this drove a wedge further between her and Severus. This was augmented by the fact that Severus had begun learning every nasty and dark magic he could in his burning need to never feel so helpless again.

"You hate him," Lily spat during one of their arguments.

"Yes..." Severus seethed.

"Just because he's popular and arrogant and good at everything-"

"That's NOT why!" he shouted at her, his face getting blotchy with rage. She recoiled from his anger with a look of fear and hurt.

"I feel like I don't know you anymore..." she said softly. But he _couldn't _tell her. He couldn't bear the thought of her seeing him as emasculated as he had felt that night. His shame burned in his heart like a volcano and he had become explosive with it. But his heart still cried out. Silently he wished she would sense the hurt beneath the anger._ Please! _His heart cried,_ please understand me! _He wished she would force it out of him then be accepting and prove all his fears wrong. He wished she could see his true heart and relieve him of this burden of pain and shame. "You take your anger out on everyone, Severus. You use it like a weapon. I can't handle that." She turned her back, extinguishing the light he'd found in her eyes for so long by turning away. Denying him the salvation he craved.

"Lily!" he whispered.

"Lily," he wept.

Lily...but she was gone.

She ignored him. Her silence like a shroud enveloped him in cold pain until the numbness set in. He tried not to think about her, but everywhere he saw a flash of red hair his heart leapt like an eager puppy seeking its mistress. He kept his torment to himself once Narcissa had graduated. He stayed amongst the to-be-Death Eaters to shield himself from her eyes, the laughter and smiles she graced others with and his hurt. Deep inside, he was alone.

On the fateful day of the O.W.L.s, his pain got the best of him. He knew he should have been happy to have her being on his side, but he resented her absences too much. He called her mudblood and felt the final nail pierce the coffin of his heart. She was lost to him. Forever.

###

Snape re-entered his office to find a butt facing him. At first he couldn't understand what he was seeing. Then the horror of it hit; Potter bent over the pensieve; Potter watching his memories. Potter seeing his shame and pain. He couldn't bear it. He yanked the usurper from his sacred thoughts and commanded him to leave for good. A searing pain in his chest reminded him of losing Lily, those green eyes were fixed on him even now. But it was too entrenched a habit. The idea that the boy Potter was inwardly laughing with his late father over Snape's torment was just too much.

Harry stood still, terrified. But he didn't budge. He moved forward.

"GET OUT!" Snape roared at him.

"no." Harry said softly. "Please, Professor...I have to say this. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have looked and now that I have I can't bear it. I _hate_ what my father did to you." tears brimmed in his eyes. Snape was stunned silent.

He was still, hardly breathing. Harry kept coming closer. The boy's heart thrummed loudly in his ears, but he refused to back down. He felt miniscule in the face of this man's pain but he would face hell and brimstone to change it. They were standing barely a foot apart. Harry looked up at Snape imploringly then awkwardly reached his thin arms around his waist.

Like moving through the mists of time itself, the two gravitated towards each other; upturned open face to down facing strained one. Then as softly as a sun rises after a night of tumultuous storms, they kissed.


	11. Chapter 11

The Hand that Rocks the Ladle

"Touching you makes me feel alive..." -Slept so Long

_A/N: Firstly, once again I must apologize for the delay. I have again been host to a horrendous headcold with hate from Hades. I generally do avoid writing (or reading, really) much smut whilst sick as I am so __**not **__into getting it on with a runny nose, right? Not my kink. ;-) But, in the meantime I have had time to ponder and come up with lovely ideas which I do hope will be interesting. I also had a chance to learn that slug penii emerge from the sides of their heads, which will be relevant, just not for THIS story! (stay tuned if you enjoy the kind of bizarre bastion of buffoonery that is sure to erupt from my furious fingers sometime soon!) Sorry it's a short chapter, but I still have sinus pressure doing weird things in my head-alas, I feel like a slug with blue balls! Next chapter; you'll get to find out exactly what Narcissa does with Miss Allen!_

There are kisses...and then there are _kisses_. For those who've been kissed at least a fair bit, there are certain kisses that are simply unlike other meeting of the mouths. There is a particular kind of kiss which is so rare and so intense as to seem unworldly. It seems to shatter something vital inside, leaving the kissed feeling more exposed and yet enlivened and invigorated.

When Harry kissed Snape, it was _that kind _of kiss. It was brief; a chaste kiss by all outward appearances. And yet in this single kiss, Snape was rendered more utterly naked than any newborn babe. A surge of profound yearning swept through him, nearly buckling his knees and leaving the man gasping for breath. He wound his arms around the boy's shoulders and let a hand cradle the mess of black hair to him. A rasping sigh tore from his chest at the contact. They clung like drowning men to one another. Lost in this moment, they stood blind to all else.

But all else was_ not _blind to them. "Pro-pro-professor?" a charming, yet hesitant voice erupted in the room, leaving Harry jumpy and glancing around. Snape knew just where to look, yet was so stunned by the visage which had suddenly appeared in his fireplace that he stared at it dumbly.

"Professor, please forgive the intrusion, but my Mistress would like to see you when it is convenient." The disembodied head in the flames explained.

"Miss Allen?" Snape asked incredulous, pulling his arms from Harry.

"Yes, sir." even in the fire he could see the girl was blushing.

"Who is your Mistress?" Snape frowned in thought.

"My Mistress is Narcissa Malfoy, sir." the girl answered with a knowing smirk. Snape raised one eyebrow. This did have him intrigued.

"Tell your Mistress that I shall be in attendance by floo in one hour." he replied with a hint of awe in his voice.

"Very good sir. And sir?" she smiled again sweetly, "I am very much looking forward to seeing you again."

He nodded solemnly, "Likewise, Miss Allen." And the fire returned to just an ordinary crackling flame dancing merrily in its grate, oblivious to the excitement to which it had just been host.

Snape turned back to Harry who was standing nearby, watching him intently. There it was again; that sense of time intersecting. His yearning for Harry was so much an echo of his yearning for Lily and once again in the midst of it, Narcissa shows up like a salacious promise. His mind began to wander, but the eyes before him brought him back.

"Potter..." he said softly. "We'll get back to this, but for tonight, I must modify your-"

"Please don't take my memory!" Harry blurted, tears springing to his eyes. "You...you did it before, didn't you? I knew it! I knew it had to be that!"

"How did you know?" Snape scowled.

Harry stared at the floor for a moment looking deeply sad. "I didn't, really...but I kept dreaming it and I just felt- I thought I was crazy to believe it- but I _did_ believe, I couldn't accept that I was just making it up, it felt so real! It just_ had _to be true." He met Snape's eyes partway through his rambling diatribe and stepped forward, his whole body seeming to beg for vindication of its desire.

A hundred different comebacks littered Snape's mind, but he couldn't argue with the fact that it_ had _been true. So he kissed him instead. Fiercely and hungrily. The boy moaned eagerly into his mouth and their arms were again struggling to embrace more than just arms could reach. After several minutes of plundering lips and tongues, Snape withdrew catching his breath. Harry put his fingers to his lips thoughtfully. "Yes, it was just like that, wasn't it?" Snape nodded.

"Go now, don't tell a soul, come back tomorrow. I must see Mrs. Malfoy." Snape panted. Harry's face darkened at the name Malfoy but he nodded. He stole one glance back at the door and Snape felt a sinking feeling in his gut about leaving the boy armed with such volatile knowledge. But then it was as though Lily's eyes floated serenely in the air before him and he remembered how his pride had kept him from confessing his feelings to her. Somehow he'd avoid making the same mistake; though he feared the unknown mistakes he felt were looming in his future. Mistakes he was on a crash-course to making.


	12. Chapter 12

Love Song to a Memory

_"I took the stars from my eyes...and...you were in the darkness too."_

Snape quickly attended to his grooming and dressed slightly more formally than normal. He wore a velvet frockcoat over his black silk shirt. His traveling robe went over this, covering his finest trousers. He knew that traveling by floo meant he didn't need the robe, but why deny the chance to have it politely removed from him?

With a flash of green light he was spinning into the Malfoy's sitting room. He brushed himself off and turned to face the one who was there to greet him. For a moment he stood dumbfounded at the sight. Naomi Allen stood nearby wearing a short french maid costume with the addition of a full tight black satin corset, elbow length white gloves and thigh high stockings with white bows perched jauntily at the top. White, impossibly high heels accentuated her dainty feet, but the shock was her hair: it had been pulled into pigtails and her wild curls which as a teen had reminded him of Bella, now had been tamed into graceful ringlets. To top it all, she had bangs.

He studied her face for a moment. He studied the high striking cheekbones and prominent jaw, the unashamed brows and heavy lidded eyes. She was lovely as ever. Finally he whispered, "Naomi..."

Her full mouth spread into a languid smile, accentuating the dip in the center of her lower lip that he loved to lick when she was in his lap back at Hogwarts. He longed to caress her cheeks and feel that soft flush beneath his fingers again, but he knew better, she belonged to another now. The voice from the doorway announced the presence of that owner, "Severus!"

He glanced up, "Narcissa!" he smiled. She walked over to Naomi and placed a hand on the girl's shoulder, "So, you like what I've done?" He nodded.

"But how...?" he gasped.

"It was an accident of sorts...ah, but where are our manners, Naomi, make our guest comfortable!" Narcissa patted the girl under the ruffles of her skirt and she blushed prettily.

"Yes Mistress." she answered and took Snape's cloak to hang up for him. Narcissa came over and slipped her arms around his neck. "You let your hair grow," she cooed, "You know I like it that way..."

Snape frowned slightly. Narcissa ignored it and gestured to him to sit across from her. Naomi fetched a teaset then sat on the floor by her Mistress' feet. Narcissa poured tea, adding just a smidge of cream and one sugar, just the way Snape liked it. He accepted the cup graciously, still waiting for an explanation.

"Where to begin?" Narcissa sipped her own tea thoughtfully, "I had no idea what you got up to with your students. Oh we all knew something was up, but I had no idea really and now I have you to thank for_ so _much." She paused to pet the girl's head affectionately.

"But how did you meet Miss Allen?" he asked pointedly. It wasn't that he didn't trust Narcissa; he'd trust her with his life, but rather if there was some connection he'd overlooked, it was his nature to need to know of it.

"Oh, of course. I needed domestic help with all the meetings and such and I felt it would be best to find a young witch who might be malleable to my unique needs. Namely, of course, I was concerned with discretion. I saw her advert in Witch Weekly looking for a position and something about it kept pulling me back. So I owled and we met. Initially it just seemed like a good employment arrangement, but well, I kept feeling like she needed more and one day I confronted her. She was terribly embarrassed. She confessed that I bore a resemblance to a girl she'd played with in school. Since I had noticed her resemblance to my sister, this caught my attention. I got the full story from her and we discovered where you'd modified her memory and we put things right and began our own...arrangement." At the last they gazed lovingly at one another.

Snape nodded solemnly, it made sense, though it did seem that this needle in a haystack had come flying out to throw itself at Narcissa, rather than her finding the girl. But Snape was happy for them, he knew that since her arranged marriage, Narcissa had been hungering for _something_. His temptation to offer to meet that need had led him to avoid her company. As though following his thoughts, she asked, "We're still friends, aren't we, Severus?" Her eyes spoke of something more than friends. He nodded.

Narcissa leaned in and whispered something to Naomi which made her eyes widen and the color in her cheeks to deepen. She nodded and smiled at her Mistress, then crawled across the floor to where Snape sat. He felt the hair rise on his arms watching her, somehow with these two lovely ladies plotting, he felt like prey. Naomi got to where he sat and knelt up reaching for his trousers. He just watched as she unzipped him and pulled him out of his safe cloth retreat and into the full view of everyone in the room. He could not hope to hide his arousal. But the women seemed pleased by this and Naomi soon took the organ in her mouth and he looked up to see Narcissa watching this hungrily.

Narcissa stood and slipped slowly and with a tantalizing wriggle out of the black leggings that had hugged her legs, then pulled the long black angora sweater over her creamy abdomen, leaving her completely naked. Snape felt his cock twitch in Naomi's mouth as he responded to the angelic sight of Narcissa walking towards him. She pulled her plaything back and looked at Snape saying thickly, "It's been way too long, Severus." He could only nod. She faced away from him and knelt over his legs on the couch, slowly lowering herself until she rested with him deep inside her. She sighed and leaned back, grasping Naomi's head and drawing her in. Naomi began to lick and suckle her Mistress' clit while Narcissa slid up and down Snape's shaft. He watched her ass, her shoulders and her hair as she rode him.

He reached his arms around her waist and began to move against her. She tried to move with her knees but lost her sense of rhythm and laid back against him. He bucked his muscles so that his cock twitched inside her even as he thrust with his thighs, she sang a hymn of passion for him and her body was offering and prasad, and cakes and ale and every wondrous thing for Naomi who savored her Mistress' pleasure as her own. Naomi's tongue flicked Snape's shaft as the seed pulsed in his cock moving up like a force of Life reaching ever upward to meet its Source. Narcissa reached down and raked her nails over Snape's thighs. He groaned into her back, biting her playfully.

Finally she slid off him and curled beside him on the couch, panting. Naomi still knelt patiently on the rug before them. Her eyes glistened with sublime emotion. "You've been a good girl, Naomi." Narcissa panted. She sat up and pulled the girl to her and slid a foot beneath her skirt. "Oh, you're so wet! Show me what you want."

Naomi moaned a bit bit straddled Narcissa's leg obediently and began to hump the pretty leg shamelessly while Snape watched. Her complete abandon was appealing and soon Narcissa lifted her face and kissed her deeply. "Such a good girl" she moaned into the girl's mouth. Then she helped the girl to lay on her lap so her legs went over Snape's as well. He watched eagerly as Narcissa lifted the skirt and pushed up the ruffles revealing a bare ass. Without hesitation Narcissa brought her hand down on this soft pale flesh, leaving a pink mark and causing Naomi to shriek. She slapped the girl a few times then plunged her fingers into the folds between the cheeks. With her left hand Narcissa kneaded the ass cheek on her lap while with her right she fucked the girl soundly with a finger extended to thrum her clit.

Snape held her legs and watched. Naomi wriggled under Narcissa's hands and she made every noise possible for a girl to make under such circumstances. Finally barely coherent she sobbed, "please...please..."

"Yes, Naomi?" Narcissa's hands stopped moving. Naomi whimpered. "You want me to fuck you properly, don't you?" Naomi just whimpered again turning towards Narcissa's body and trying to nuzzle her. "Alright, sweet girl, up then." Naomi got up looking bashful. Snape got up as well and straightened his clothes. He took the chair opposite to watch.

Narcissa retrieved an object from a drawer and affixed it magically to herself. She laid Naomi on the couch and knelt between her legs. Naomi looked up at her longingly. She loved every little laugh line and crease of the older woman's lips. She savored the softness of her skin and hungered deeply to hold her and feel her plowing her body brutally. Narcissa did not disappoint. She lunged so that the dildo was forced deep into Naomi in one movement. Naomi braced herself by wrapping her legs around Narcissa and hugged her shoulders. Narcissa laid tenderly on her while her hips slammed against her spread thighs. The softness of Narcissa's back under Naomi's hands contrasted with the fast pace that pounded Naomi into the couch. She gripped Narcissa's ass and threw back her head to cry out her climax.

Narcissa laid on her quietly a long time afterwards. Snape sat watching, feeling both wistful and happy. He _did_ love these women. Both of them, in his own peculiar way. But he knew they were best off with each other and while grateful to be allowed to visit, he knew he had to go.

He fetched a blanket from a cabinet and draped in over them. Narcissa smiled weakly at him. He kissed her head and promised he'd be in touch. He hardly felt the warmth of the flames when he flood home. He felt strangely cold, yet the shivers that shook him were blissful and sweet. It had been the happiness in Narcissa's face, he finally decided, that brought on this strange mood. It was the first time he'd ever seen her look at anyone the way she looked at Naomi. He wondered if he looked at Harry that way.


End file.
